Why should I give people love who have hurt me?

In short :: Maybe you shouldn’t. Though it’s also possible that you could hurt yourself more by building a wall of conditions around love, then it does to let love flow through you.

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In Expanded Wild Hearts this weekend this was a big question that was explored. When we are in pain, when we hold anger, we can be known to withhold our love for protection. That’s not bad or wrong, it’s just interesting to explore. If you are withholding your love for protection, the question becomes how much are you protecting yourself from allowing more love in? From allowing it  to be the way in which you engage in the world?

This is not about giving your love to people who don’t deserve it. It’s not about letting them “off the hook” for how they have treated you or what they did. It’s not about forgiving them, in fact it’s really not even about them at all. When you protect yourself from love by creating conditions around it, you’re cutting yourself off from the energy of love.

We can’t force ourselves to forgive. 

We can’t make love exist in some place where it doesn’t.

We can’t, and we shouldn’t be giving our love away freely to anyone and anything no matter what.

But we can choose the forgiving path time and time again.

We can choose to let the love lens be the way in which we view the world, time and time again. 

We can allow the grace of love to be the root of our decisions, time and time again. 

We can meet ourselves where we are, time and time again, and we can continue breaking down the need for defense or protection of any kind. 

Giving and receiving love from those you have a strained relationship with, or those who have hurt you is not about those people at all. It’s about living in the presence of love. It’s about letting love be the force of grace that flows in and out of your life. Unconditional love can and does have strong boundaries. Loving people for who they are, as they are, without needing to change them, accepting them for who they are, as they are, without giving from your own well, that is a powerful love boundary. Exploring our own love boundaries is like holding your beautiful hearts little hand as it ventures out across the street to where it was hurt once before. Hold your hearts hand, and discover the love boundaries that are right for you. 

The grace of love, letting love move freely in and out of your life, in and out of your body, is usually going to be the harder choice. The body wants to be protected, it will do what it needs in order to survive the emotional experience or trauma you have been through. But once you are no longer in the trauma itself, can you recognize the new place you’re in and choose to step forward into more healing?

Giving love is a symbol, it sets you free, as much as it sets the one who hurt you free.  If you aren’t at a place where you can wish loving wishes okay. There is nothing wrong with you, and you are not in the wrong place, that is where you are. You can’t force yourself to be ready to give and receive love to those who have hurt you before you are ready. That’s okay. There’s no need to jump into love if that’s not where you are. Send them well wishes. Send them peace. Send them health. Ask your body what you are ready to send, and practice, imagine, sending that life force their way. Imagine receiving it from them. You can work your way through various energy forces, sending and receiving whatever it is you are ready for today. Notice where you are, meet yourself there, and maybe somewhere down the line there will be a time when you can give and receive love without conditions, love without protection. But if today is not that day, okay, start with where you are. 

You are worthy of exuding unconditional love each and every day. Worthy of feeling full on unconditional love yourself. Giving love to someone who has hurt you is less about them and more about you. You are the one you are healing. You are the one who desires to live in unconditional love. 

From riding the waves of our emotions, to choosing to love through the uncertainty

Riding the waves of my emotions is a wildly familiar sentiment to me. When you let emotions wash through you, you’re able to process them, get the information you need from them, understand the messages in your pain, and move forward. But in today’s world, riding the waves of emotions holds a whole new meaning. The depth of uncertainty that lies beyond the wave, after we’ve done the riding, is too big. After a really big wave you usually get a break for at least a minute. That’s how it works in the ocean. The big waves come in sets, maybe 2 or 3 of monstrous sizes, and then you’re able to coast a bit. Bobbing up and down over some baby waves, your body relaxes, you sink into the water or float on top, it’s like being cradled by the ocean. 

We are in uncertain times yet we crave certainty, an attempt to grasp on to the future. And so how do we get comfortable with uncertainty when you have no idea when the waves will subside? 

We trust. We trust in the course correction as it unfolds before us. We trust that we are being initiated to step into more. We trust in the natural evolution of life’s cycles. We trust that our overthinking will not control us, and we fall back into our hearts.  We trust in the love. 

Love is never promised, never certain and yet we choose to trust it time and time again. We choose this because the other option is to stay in self-hatred, stay in loneliness, stay in doubt, stay in the small cave that was built for us from our stories, but we are now keeping intact ourselves. Let love in and you begin to discover the untamed, wild heart living at the bottom of your being.

This is the genius of this moment. Can you, faced with all that you are being faced with, still choose to let love in, to trust in the love, in its path, and to stay on the mission to discover what lives in the untamed space of your wild heart?

An exercise for tending to and caring for the untamed space of your wild heart?

Write down a list of all the emotions you feel today, last night. The good, bad, the ugly. Dump them all down on paper. 

Close your eyes and feel the energy of what those are bringing you. Imagine them physically washing through, and then out of, your body. 

Get a picture of your happy place. Or close your eyes and see a picture of your happy place. 

Feel the energy of this space in your heart.

Say out loud…

I trust in the energy of my happy place. 

I trust in the love my happy place brings me. 

I trust in letting this love into my heart.

I trust in this love.

I trust in love.

I trust in love.

Imagine this love roaming through your body. Feel it, basque in it.

You are worthy of discovering and trusting the love that lives in your wild heart. 

*I will add that I recognize my privilege as I write this. I recognize that my inconveniences are someone else’s luxury. I recognize my privilege and still choose to believe in the sentiment of the piece.

To choose freedom liberates us all.

Your stories, your pain, your frustrations, they are valid. They are understood by some, they are felt by many, and they are completely valid. For me, what I refuse to allow is for my pain, my stories, frustrations or fears to run my life. I refuse to allow my pain to drive, or to sit in my pain and frustrations for longer than necessary. That’s not to say there is a timeline on your healing, or on feeling your pain, in fact it’s the opposite.

I’m saying, feel your pain, allow your pain, your frustrations to be there, and when you are ready, pick yourself up off the bathroom floor. 

There is a lot we can learn from our pain. Our pain has stories to tell, they have healing messages, lessons to learn, and heart-opening expansion to offer. And if where you are right now is in your pain, then that is where you are. May you meet yourself there with kindness. But you won’t be in pain forever, it doesn’t last that long, unless of course, you choose to make it do so. There is and will always be space for you to feel your pain, your trauma. Our nervous system post trauma requires some resetting and everyone’s reset looks different. What I invite you to ask yourself however is are you waiting for the reset to arrive for you, or are you inviting it in? To choose to feel your pain, heal through your stories is one thing. To choose to sit in suffering is quite another, and you don’t have to sit in suffering. 

I cried for the world today. I didn’t understand it, or what I was crying for specifically, but I cried for all those in pain, for all the helpers. There are some painful things going on in the world right now, and so I wept for the world. It is important to create space for pain to move through us. Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor tells us that emotions take 90 seconds to wash through our bodies. That is to say that if you feel your feeling as it arises, when it arises, truly feel it, not suppress it, or let it drive you actions, but close your eyes, focus on the feeling, feel it, and let it move through your body. Then, all it takes is 90 seconds for that emotion to move through you and be released. 

When you feel pain you have an opportunity to let the emotion move through you. When you allow this, it gives it permission to be released, as it’s ready to be released. When it gets released, it makes room for incredible things, more love, more synchronicities, universal flow. 

To choose freedom from your pain doesn’t just free yourself. To choose freedom from your pain liberates those around you. It gives them permission to do the same, it gives them an opportunity to see another way of being, it gives them freedom from their own suffering, (when they’re ready of course). 

To choose freedom liberates us all.

Suffering is not the way I choose to live my life. I choose freedom. And I hope I’ll see you on the freeing path. 

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If you’re ready to free yourself from pain or frustrations here are some journaling prompts that can support you and maybe even give you some release. And you know there’s always more breathwork or guided meditations from yours truly as well. 

• What emotions want to be washed through you today? 

• What pains, frustrations or fears, do you have? Write them down, let them move through you, and immediately go to the next questions.

• Are you more comfortable sitting in suffering than you are possibility? How so?

• What does it mean to you to choose freedom and to liberate yourself from your pain?

• What tools, techniques, support systems can you lean on to support you in moving through your emotions?

Creating boundaries with so much outside noise

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Been a hellava last few weeks. How are you doing? For real, you, how are you doing? And I’m not asking for your I’m fine answer, unless truly, you are in fact fine. I want to know how you are doing. Feel free to respond to this email here, or just take this note in and respond in your heart. 

That’s an interesting question to ask these days isn’t it? It seems there are a lot of ways to answer this right now and that’s likely because moment to moment the answer changes. Two weeks ago for me, the change occurred moment to moment. Then last week the answer would change hour to hour. So far, and it is only Monday as I write this, it’s shifted into day by day. I’ll take it nonetheless. I’m doing everything in my power to show-up for you right now in ways that you need, and I am grateful to connect with you, and have these important conversations. So truly, how are you?

The answers I have been getting from clients in private sessions, and from my groups over the last few weeks have been a range, as to be expected, though most of them are fairly on theme with one another. Last week’s theme was feeling overwhelmed from the noise in our outside world. People had been living, breathing, feeling the intensity from Covid-19 for the last 2 weeks or so here in LA, more if you’re elsewhere, and sitting in the constant noise was too much. It’s exhausting, it’s like trying to sit in an emergency-mode for a long period of time. It’s too much of an emergency all the time, at some point you have to give your body a rest. And so together we talked about boundaries, about what those looked like. We talked about the almost yearning desire to be blissfully ignorant, and we talked about the exhaustive fear, panic swim that the world was feeling.

For many of us, this is something new that this particular set of humans who are alive on the planet today, have not experienced yet. And as with any new situation, it requires an evaluation of self, an evaluation of our life and of how we are addressing the two together. Part of this evaluation is learning about the new boundaries that you might need to put in place so you can work with the collective energy and not always be living in an emergency. Most people I worked with last week, were learning about the boundaries that they were in need of as it relates to this new world. We explored the concept of boundaries, and discovered what boundaries had been crossed based on claiming and assessing the emotions they were holding. That is how I can spot that a boundary has been crossed in a client, if I notice they are feeling triggered, and almost unclear on where it’s coming from, then it’s likely time for a good boundary to be set. 

How to create boundaries with the outside noise can begin with noticing how you’re feeling. Take stock of what emotions have been coming up for you lately. Is there anything there that you might be able to support, protect, and not in a defensive kind of way, but rather, hold, or care for? Then ask yourself, what do you need to do to care for you? I’m sure you will get some clear boundaries coming from this place. 

To be clear, a boundary isn’t something you ask someone else to do or hold for you, but rather something you set, and take action on to uphold. You are the sole human responsible for upholding your own boundaries. If a boundary has been crossed, you have an action you can take in order to best support yourself. Though it can be set out of self-protection, it is best if the boundary is set with love, firm love included in the ‘with love’ category. Here’s an example of a specific boundary :: COVID-19 text message threads were causing my client anxiety, specifically with the way in which a certain friend was handling it, so she set a boundary around engaging or participating in those threads. She told the people on that thread that she would not like to receive any more text messages about this subject, removed herself, and started a new thread with friends for other conversations to happen. If she still gets sent text messages, she can choose to block that friend, and tell her she is being blocked with love because not talking about this is her boundary, or she can simply choose to not read them. 

Usually I know when the new boundary that I’m setting is right because it makes my whole body take a deep breath. You might feel your body feeling a little lighter, or stronger because it feels taken care of, heard. Pay attention to the shift in your body when you’ve landed on the boundary itself, if it doesn’t feel supportive, keep creating, you’ll get there. 

I thought I would share with you some of the boundaries we discovered were best for these clients. These boundaries will of course be different from person to person depending on who you are, what you hold, how much you want and/or are able to hold, and what works for you and your body. Keep that in mind as you read through these boundaries, but feel free to use some of them if they support your well-being too. 

• Staying off social media in the morning, and at night.

• Limiting social media use to 2 hours per day, and setting screen time allotment to notify you when you arrive there.

• Informing friends and family that you will not be responding to COVID-19 text messages throughout the day, or at all, but you would be happy to FaceTime or talk about something else together

• Morning’s (can claim a certain time) are dedicated to you and your self-care

• Make a list of trusted news sources, and unfollow all other accounts/limit engagement with other accounts so you are only taking in news from your trusted news source

• Consciously choosing what energies to engage with both in your personal virtual world and digital presence world

With so much outside noise, we must be taking care of ourselves, setting boundaries is a beautiful and empowering way to do just that. We have a choice on how much we let that outside noise affect our inner world. And what a beautiful choice we get to make, because I don’t know much else that is as empowering as taking care of myself, my body and my heart.

Stay safe out there. Here to support you however I can. 

All the love,

Jenna

Feeling sensitive to the ups and downs of our world right now?

Like so many of you I’m sure, I have been feeling it all lately. One minute I’m uplifted, I know the gravity of this situation, but can still feel the spirit, the possibility, the interconnectedness of our world, hear the Italians singing in the streets, the penguins at the closed zoo wandering around meeting the other animals, the Earth receiving so much nourishment from this rain, seeing the Spirit of this world. The next minute I feel fear pulling at my heart, saddened by the hoarding of supplies, the elderly who need help, and the people who aren’t taking this seriously. It’s too much. 

I sit down for my regular work schedule from home (though I always work from home anyway) and I can’t seem to function the same way I used to. It’s as though my heart is pulled between the Spirit of possibility, of how I can help, and doomsday. This is what it’s like to be a highly sensitive person living in a highly connected world when times are wildly unpredictable. 

One minute your heart settles into your body, and the next in the middle of a regular task like responding to emails, I feel like I could cry. The back and forth is debilitating. 

What I know for sure is this, compassion, and gentle vulnerability is the only answer right now. This is the best thing you, we, can do for ourselves right now. In order to show up with grace and ease for our world, in order to keep our bodies healthy, and be a leader in our communities, we must be practicing compassion and gentle vulnerability with ourselves and with one another. If you need to go cry in the middle of a task, go cry. If you need a dance party break to bring some laughter, and joy into your day, here’s my favorite dance song right now. (and check out my instagram LIVE story which has my dance party from yesterday for you to join in) Do not expect yourself to operate the same way you did last week or the week before. Things are different today, and as we adjust to what that means for our world, for your family, and for you personally, you need compassion, gentle vulnerability and grace.

There is only so much you can control and the rate of your heartbeat is one of those things.

Soften to your heart, listen to what you need and give in to you. Create boundaries. If you don’t like how you’re feeling on social media, turn your phone over, scream and then dance it out. If the news from friends and the articles they’ve read is too much for you, tell them you can’t hear about it anymore, you love them and ask what else you can talk about. Look for the compassion in the world, uplift those around you with stories of good, heartwarming stories. There is a lot of joy in uncertainty, sometimes you just have to seek it out.

We will get through this together, that I know. In the meantime, where can you call forward more compassion? And where are you being asked to be a leader for your community in bringing that forward? You are powerful, and right now your heart needs you, and your world needs you. 

So take care of yourselves beautiful people. Stay healthy. Be there for one another. And I hope you know, I’m always here for you too. 

All the love,

Jenna

Image from : Be Just Fear Not Tumblr

Finding your voice.

I am inspired by activists that speak up for issues and world views that are close to my heart. I often sit in awe scrolling on instagram through the many accounts of strong leaders in their field speaking their message, crystal clear on what it is they feel called to say.

Speaking up can feel like a scary thing for many people. I know it is something I have felt, and still do feel when it comes to certain issues or topics of conversation. And I’m not talking about speaking up just in terms of an instagram page. Speaking up references speaking up when something in your circle, in your world, is doing something that is wrong in your eyes. It means speaking up to your mother, father, family members about what’s important to you. It means fighting for any topic/conversation that you feel called to claim. It means allowing people to disagree, to unsubscribe, to not understand you or your view points. Speaking up means hearing another's perspective when it’s difficult, when you don’t agree, and speaking truth to what you feel in your heart anyway.

Speaking up does not have to be confrontational though we have for some reason given it this lens. Speaking up can feel confronting for many because if you feel called to speak up, then it’s likely because you feel passionately about something. And if you feel passionately about something, it’s likely that someone else also feels passionately on the other side of your perspective. The essence of speaking up does not need to be about anything other than an opinion or perspective being put into the world. 

When I am speaking up, it feels fulfilling because I’m giving space to something that though it might be uncomfortable, I believe should have space in the world. I feel a release, a sense of duty, importance in allowing my voice to be heard. I also believe that when using our voices, we must allow ourselves to feel clear. When I spoke up recently in a way I had not ever done before, I felt the channels in my body clear. I felt the power of the message come through my body clearly, and it’s because of this that the importance of the message, the way it wanted to come out into the world was able to be delivered in a natural expression of my words. 

I also believe that you can speak up strongly, beautifully, and respectfully. I believe it can be done with strength and with kindness, and that in fact, when done from this place, the message tends to be more impactful. Speaking up for me, using your voice is not about scoldingly, blaming or shaming. It’s about doing what you feel is right for you, your body, your family and what you stand for. It’s about allowing yourself to be one of the many voices that make our world go round. 

Words have power, and you cannot take them back. Be conscious, be kind with your expressions, and find the voice that wants to take up space.Speaking up means finding your voice, understanding where you want to use it and then claiming your voice.

Image from Artist :: Paper Moon Print Art

If speaking up has ever been difficult, or uncomfortable for you, if you’re not sure what your voice is, or you have some idea, but you don’t know how to begin allowing the words to take up space, here are some subtle, but powerful ways you can move the energy that is your voice. 

:: find where the topics that you care about are on instagram and join the conversation. Start by observing if that feels best, and then move into saying something soft, simple or easy. Let your words find themselves for you. 

:: bring up something you’ve been feeling called to say but have not yet, to a dear and trusted friend. Talk with them about all that you’re holding on this subject or issue and share what you’re feeling called to say or do. Tell them you’re vulnerable, nervous, and let them hold you with compassion.

:: write out exactly what you’ve been wanting to speak up about in a journal, writing as though you are having the difficult conversation, asking for the thing, in real time. 

:: write about the topic/issue that you’re feeling most triggered by lately. Write everything that you feel, and think about this topic. And if that feels like enough, beautiful. If something more feels right, edit what you wrote, and submit your thought piece to some online publications that the piece might work with. Who knows who might see it, or who it might help?

Be sure to love yourself through each and every one of these. Depending on where you are, each one will feel different, maybe easier and harder than others at times, which is why extreme kindness and self-compassion will be important. 

What can we do to make the world a better place?

That is the question I’ve been exploring since I was ten years old when I saw one of those commercials for sponsoring a child in third world countries. 

I still don’t know the answer. I just know that this is what I want to drive my souls purpose in 2020. This is the foundation behind everything that I do. I believe that we have the power to make this world a better place and we must stand in our power to do what we can. For ourselves, but mostly for the future generations who I hope we are paving the way for. This world must be left better than how I found it. I believe that is my duty, our duty. It must be more inclusive. More understanding of our differences. It must have space for the difficult questions for the exploration of our individuality. You don’t have to agree with one another, but you can treat people with love and kindness, and that can be how we make this world a better place. You as a human being on this Earth have a being-ness that is essential to you. And that something, that is your power to stand in. 

The world can feel like a dark, grim place at times. I stand in love more frequently than not but I absolutely can get disheartened with all the change we are in need of. It feels overwhelming at times.

Like I’m supposed to take care of my body, eat right, heal my emotional trauma, grow my business, meditate, forgive the people who have hurt me, eat organically even though it’s expensive, go trash-free, eliminate my use of plastic, raise a family, learn how to parent, teach them how to be good people while being the best person I can be, volunteer, and make this world a better place.

To name a few. It sometimes feels like really… I’m only awake for 98 hours a week, that’s 14 hours a day and that just does not feel like enough time for all that?! Truth be told, I don’t have a positive spin on this either. I don’t have a pretty little packaged bow to put on the end of this. What I can say is that we start by holding space for ourselves. You can hold space for you, do your part, be the best you you can be, and most importantly, let that be enough. 

My fiance said to me earlier, “you know, when I get disheartened with the world, I look at what you’re doing to make it a better place, and it makes me feel better.” (I know, how sweet, trust me, I cried) And that’s just it. We can all do our part. We can all show-up for ourselves, hold space for our own heart and all that we hold and maybe, if it’s meant to be, that change and betterment that we are, will ripple out into the world. Maybe it will, you will, even impact someone else in your life. 

We can all inspire someone else to do more, be better, stand in their power, step up, and listen more. But we can’t go changing the world if we’re not growing, learning, healing, holding space for ourselves first.

Photographer :: Samuel Elkins

Surviving the most joyful time of year.

The holidays are not joyful for everyone. Social media shows the best of our worlds, and consumerism would not thrive if marketing displayed the sadness that many of us feel during this time of year.

This time of year can be filled with extreme loss. Longing. Loneliness. Sadness, and confusion. It can bring feelings of resentment, envy. And these feelings can be so strong they can shake our beliefs at the very core making you question why your life is the way it is, why past pains have occurred, and even make you wonder if there even is anything, or anyone looking out for you at all.

If you are one of these people right now who are not riding the holiday high, you are not alone.

For many years I ran away during the holidays. I did not want to be in my hometown reminded of the way things used to be. I could not face all the memories, the tradition we had created that without certain people around, felt shattered. I was grieving the loss of life as I knew it, and it felt like a death. And so I ran. I don’t regret this. Running was what I needed to do to hold space for myself and the deep feelings of loss, sadness, and loneliness that crept over me throughout every moment during this time of year. So for more than 3 years when Thanksgiving came around, and it felt as though someone was punching me in the stomach repeatedly and I could never fully catch my breath let alone talk to others who were feeling the joy of the holiday, I ran.

Dealing with loss, with pain, with heartbreak, dealing with your life might simply feel like too much right now. And that’s okay. You don’t have to understand why you’re feeling the depth of what you’re feeling, and you don’t have to have a solution for feeling better. What is imperative for your heart though is to practice extreme self-kindness. I’m talking about whole-heartedly, selfishly doing just exactly what you need. Let everyone around you work through their own healing as it relates to your actions. If you come from love, are not intentionally cruel to anyone, speak truth into what your needs are, everyone who loves you will accept you and your needs. It might not be what they want, it might not be how they would deal with things, and they certainly might not understand, but their love for you will overpower. Tell them you love them, and you love yourself too, which is why you’re listening to your own needs. Tell them self-kindness means doing this thing, going to this place, acting this way, right now. They will love you the way they know how. And if you don’t show up for yourself during this time frame, your intense feelings will only intensify and you risk taking them out on those you love because you’re showing up for them and what they want and need, and forgetting about you.

To heal go to the root of your wound. Be with your pain, your discomfort and love yourself all the way through. Unconditional, life affirming self-love.

And if you are not ready to go to the root, that is okay. There is no shame in that, choose to sit with and around the love. Swim in, be around, hold yourself in, extreme love and kindness. Let others love you the way they know how. When you are ready to be at the root, you will. And there is no timeline or one path for when or how that happens.

There can absolutely be a lot of joy in the holiday, but if joy is not what you are feeling, until it returns again, and returns in a new kind of way, loving yourself unconditionally is the best support you can give yourself. And until that sunny, love filled, joyous time of year is re-created, may you never forget that you are not alone.

You and your opinion, are not always right.

You and your opinion, are not always right.

Yes, that means that the way you believe the world to be, the way your life experiences have shaped you, the things that have helped you and the fire that roars inside you, is not going to be standalone truthful right for everyone. And, that is okay. You don’t need to fix anyone, and you don’t need to help them see your way. You have your people, your community, your fellow light beamers that you lean on for support, and it’s okay to let other people have theirs.

I know this idea gets tricky when your belief systems are criticized or mocked. When you’re told you’re crazy, or that that the way you do something, or the belief you hold is “just not right”, I know it hurts. This is where you have a choice, an opportunity. You can choose to fight your way forward. Choose to push your perspective on another, choose to show them why your way is the right way, and feel like you’re living your life to prove something, always in the fight. Or you can fully and completely let go. If you let go I promise, you are in for a much happier life. 

For it’s in this place of letting go that you begin to rewire old stories, patterns within you. Letting go let’s you get out of your own head and into your body, into your heart. It’s where you’re able to soften into loving people with your whole heart, and letting them love you the way they know how. It’s a deeper acceptance of love. A kind of acceptance where you feel so fully and completely whole on your own that you don’t need your beliefs to be understood by anyone because you feel fully and completely understood by yourself. 

I spent a lot of time lately with people that are different than me. To say this has been a learning lesson for me, or a healing moment, is quite truly an understatement. A lifetime old wound of mine is a fear of not being accepted, of being called crazy. This is something I have heard time and time again in my life. So naturally, as it often goes with old wounds, we are faced with them once more until we do fully heal them. And it was in this place of total acceptance of my own being. A love so deep for myself that I carved out my time to breathe, to write, to be in the silence of nothing and recharge, that I was able to hear my inner voice whisper, “you don’t have to fix anyone.” I smiled, feeling the truth explode in my body, feeling the Universe cradle me in her magic, “and it’s okay if your opinion is different than theirs, there is nothing wrong with that,” she said.

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It’s in this place of letting go that you’re more able to show up for your family members, for your loved ones. Suddenly the way they know how to love you feels accepted, embraced even. You begin loving yourself the way you want, desire being loved. And when you do that, the opinion of others seems to drift away along with the fight to prove you’re right. This is where things get even more beautiful because now suddenly, others love you the way you deserve to be loved, suddenly they want to hear your perspective, be more open-minded themselves, and all because you’ve dropped the fight and chosen to love a little deeper.

And no matter where you are in this process, there you’ll sit more comfortable in your holiday chair, more full of love, and understanding around your differences, and maybe even in the difficulties, than you might have ever known possible.

It all starts with showing up for yourself, and embracing that you, your opinion does not have to always be right.

To love and accept others for who they are today

“I love and accept you for who you are today.” This is a line that has become quite potent in my life. It’s something that helps my partner in softening into our differences. It supports him in feeling loved for who he is today, without feeling like I am trying to change him. He has told me it gives him permission to be who he is while opening to the perspectives of others because he knows deep in his soul that nothing in or about his core being is being disrespected, but rather stands as different. 

My partner and I have many analytical conversations. Some conversations turn into eye opening truths for one or both of us. Others turn into fights, or feelings of not being heard, or seen. Our relationship has always been a deep source of expansion for me. I see the world as a glass half full. I choose to see the good, the love, to believe the best in mankind. He’s not the opposite of that though more analytical. His first instinct is not to choose love but rather, choose equanimity. He gathers all the information and decides if love is his response. He loves deeply, and believes in the power of human connection. 

To love deeply and accept someone for who they are today means to not try to change them or their beliefs. It means to honor all that they are no matter where the makeup, genetic or otherwise, has come from. It means to embrace their beliefs as their beliefs without judgement. To love and accept someone for who they are is to hold their hand as they let their guard down, a process that cannot have an expectation by the hand-holder. It means to inspire them to want to accept others for who they are, no matter how different ones world views might be. 

It doesn’t mean to accept the pain they may have inflicted, or to condone bad behavior.  Nor does it mean to let go of your own needs, wants and desires. 

To love and accept someone for who they are means both individuals are willing to let themselves grow through their pain, pasts, and differences.

Hopefully I do not need to give you permission to be who you are, hopefully that is something you continue to do for yourself each and everyday. But if you are in need of that extra support, may you love and accept yourself for exactly who you are today while feeling inspired to open and listen to another’s perspective, no matter how different. 

This is a Full Moon week, which means emotions, experiences, situations might feel intensified. You can use this as a potent growth period for what you are working with and through. And if you’d like, answer these questions to support some unlocking. 

:: Who, what in your life could use a little extra glass half full perspective?

:: Who, what in your life could you see, hear, honor?

:: Who, what could use some extra acknowledgements?

:: What situation in your life has brought to light difficulties with differences, and where can you call in more love and appreciation for the experience as it stands today?

And if you can, choose someone in your life that would feel for you to say “I love and appreciate you for who you are today.”

And in case you didn’t already know this dear readers, this is how I feel about each one of you, I love and accept you just the way you are wired, even and especially when it’s different than me.

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You always have two choices, fear or love.

You always have two choices, fear or love.

My mom recently witnessed a traumatic accident that resulted in the loss of a man’s life. My mom is okay, and the people in my orbit that I know and love are okay, but having her be so close to the scene got me thinking about love and fear. I don’t know anything about the man who lost his life or his family, but as being close to these situations can do, it has made me reflect on life as I know it to be. Not only could our whole life change in an instant, so could the life of our loved ones and those we do not know. Feeling this in such a big big way brings nnot only a shift in perspective about life, but it also brings up questions about fear and love.

With every major decision, in every moment, in all that you do, you have a choice to choose living from a place of fear, or living from a place of love. You might think this is second nature, or simple. And some decisions certainly feel like they are. While others, well others are not so simple or clear. There are moments in life where we are faced with the decision to choose fear, or choose love, and maybe we stand in our own way, maybe we self-sabotage, or let past pains guide the decision, maybe outside circumstances have shaped your perspective to a point where you can’t even see the loving choice. Whatever it might be, if you can hold, and I mean hold with everything that you are the possibility of choosing love, you just might create the life that you dream of living. 

vi.sualize.us

Choosing love looks like saying you are sorry. It looks like forgiveness. It looks like letting someone love you the way they know how. Choosing love looks like loving yourself, it looks like loving yourself through the moments of walking away from love. Choosing love looks like setting strong boundaries. It looks like holding yourself to the standards of the life and love you deserve. Choosing love looks like claiming your needs out loud, it looks like completing yourself. And choosing love looks like a thousand other moments, moments you get to define.

In life you always have two choices, you can swim in fear, and take the chance of getting stuck there, of holding yourself in fear and keeping life the same as you know it for fear of the unknown.

Or, you can play with love. In the world of playing with love you can experience explosive joy, and soul on fire happiness. You can also experience loss, pain, sadness. There is no confirmation that when you play with love you won’t also experience pain. But one thing is for sure, if you choose fear, you don’t get to experience playing with love. If you choose fear you don’t know what could be, might be on the other side.

You always have two choices, fear or love. What are you going to choose today?

The Wisdom of Fall

Fall in LA is completely different than Fall anywhere else. I know that, feel that, see that, but I like to think of Fall as an energy, a sentiment, and maybe you’ve even taken notice over the last few days feeling the shift of this energy in the air no matter where you are located.

Photo by Jakob Owens @jakobowens1

In all my group classes the last few weeks it seemed as though confusion, and stress were abundant. People were sitting up in classes like a whack-a-mole game, confusion was strong, and the stress that seemed to be radiating off people was intense. This week it’s as though everyone has taken a big deep breath. We’ve embraced a little bit more of the transition into Fall and we are starting to slow down. Go inward.

My feeling is that people were feeling anxious about the transition into Fall. Transitions can feel big, scary. They hold a lot of weight, and yet if we don’t have complete clarity about the what’s and the why’s of the transition, we might even feel resistant to transitioning at all. But it’s during these transitions that our bodies, that your world could really call in more trust. In order to trust in the process of the transition though, you might be in need of some internal reflection. 

For me personally I did not even know I was confused last week. I did not know that I was feeling any stress whatsoever about summer coming to a close, and entering the fourth quarter of the year. It wasn’t until I was in the ocean for the second time this past weekend that I felt it. My grip on Summer. My desire to keep the warmth of the ocean wrapped around my body.

But holding water in your hand is like trying to hold onto love. It slips right through every time.

And so I took a deep breath, went on a long walk and went inward. I dove into the dirty workings of my brain, saw where I’ve been cleaning up messes, and where I’ve been undervaluing myself along the way. Suddenly I understood why I was gripping summer, I wasn’t ready. So with this unreadiness, I wrote. Asking and answering questions like :: 

What is my medicine for fall?

What am I calling in?

What needs revisiting?

What needs a complete shake-off?

Then I set some intentions for Fall 2019. Intentions that were soft, and not rooted in action, and intentions with clear steps forward. 

Suddenly I felt the sweet, bitter goodbye to Summer with a little more acceptance. I don’t need to hold onto the water, I’ve appreciated it for all that it has offered me this Summer, and it will come around again soon, just like it always does.

And so this Fall, holding all my intentions in my heart, I vow to allow wisdom to be revealed as I step more into balance. I vow to stay true to who I am, while I evolve into another version of me. And as we step into all that Fall has to offer together, I vow to listen to the wisdom of the season. There is a lot of wisdom in this time of year. This time of reflection, of crisp evening air, and colors sprouting everywhere reminding us of our own innate inner wisdom. What is your fall medicine?

Space for the Whole Person

Interpersonal relationships are expanders. They open your world view, expanding the way in which you see the world, bringing in alternate perspectives and so many other thoughts that you might not have otherwise seen or understood. Interpersonal relationships teach us everything we need to know about ourselves, about how we interact with the world, about the perspectives we do and don’t have, about our flaws and our strengths in the world. These relationships are wildly important to our growth culturally, and personally, and yet the understanding that we have of another is just one piece of the pie. What I mean by this is we don’t know what we don’t know. We can’t see what we can’t see. So there will always be more to a person than our current understanding that we have. 

Take the example of you’re in the car, you’re driving and you get cut off. You feel super triggered because well that person was being an idiot, they almost hurt you, how could they think that they were driving the right way? Then if you can get calm enough you consider that maybe they are a beginner and just learning to drive, or maybe they’re running late to the hospital where a loved one has recently been placed. We don’t know what’s going on in that other car and when we are able to consider what that person might be dealing with, we begin to release judgement and instead call forward more compassion and understanding. This is the same perspective I hope to call in more often. There is an energy we get from another, that is undeniable. And you are certainly not meant to like every type of human, or to be friends with everyone in the world. There are many things that connect you to another, friendships built on depth, on common interests, on shared heartfelt experiences. But even if someone isn’t meant to be your friend, even if they’re not someone you would typically run in a circle with, isn’t there a little more space we could be giving to one another without being written off too quickly? Space to be messy, to make mistakes, to be misunderstood?

I am absolutely guilty of this. Of feeling the energy of another and deciding right here and now that this person is not my type of person. And guess what, maybe they aren’t! The trick is in choosing not to judge them for why they are not your type of person. Choosing to address them with love and understanding anyway. Choosing to feel compassion towards them for exactly who they are.

It feels like we could all be holding a little more space for each other to be a whole person. Space to sometimes be crabby. Space left for mystery, for not understanding the heart of another without it necessarily being wrong or a bad thing. Maybe you don’t even write these things off as bad or wrong, but you write them off as weird. We don’t have to understand the weird energy we feel from another, and maybe that’s just okay. If we were all holding a little more space for differences, for the things we don’t quite yet understand, maybe just maybe, there would be room for more compassion. Maybe there would be room for empathy without understanding why the weirdness is felt, or why they cut you off. It feels as though we could leave a little more space for the rest of the pie of the whole person that someone is to be filled in without judgement, and instead with love guiding the way. For me, it always comes back to love. 

Am I loving myself enough that I can leave space for that person to be who they are without judgement? Am I loving myself enough to believe I too am worthy of success? Am I loving myself enough that I believe exactly who I am and what I bring to the table is enough, and if I am then there is all the room in the world for the other person to fill in their whole person pie. If I am truly loving myself in the deepest way I know how, then there is more than enough space for each of us to discover our own whole-person and that is the exact journey I want to be on with you. A journey of discovering our own whole pies.

You are enough.

Photographer/credit unknown?

What if you considered being enough? What if today you chose to see that in everything you do, in all that you create, in all that you accomplish and fail at, you are enough? And what if, being enough was your default rather than the life boat? What might that make possible for you?

When you lack self-love you choose, instinctually to believe the dark thoughts before the good ones. Following the instinct of the dark path happens so fast you almost don’t realize the good thoughts were ever even there to consider.  This happens because you lack self-love. This happens because there are still parts of your body that make you feel green with envy, things you want, wounds, pain you feel that gets triggered. You must choose to get through the dark thoughts. Choose to not be captured by feelings of lacking, and instead consider the option of being enough. Just exactly as you are, today in this very moment, consider being enough.

I had a breakdown the other night. I still feel really good about how I moved through this breakdown, it only took about 30 minutes of my day, and I was able to let it go and continue on rather seamlessly, but it was a breakdown nonetheless. I’ve been working on this book proposal for 9 months now, actively writing the book at the same time for the last 3 years, and through it all I have not once felt like I was going crazy. It always felt like a lot of work. It always felt big, sometimes heavy, sometimes too much, but it never once made me feel like I wasn’t enough. Until the other night. The feeling washed over me like I had never experienced. I was stuck on finding a good word, a solid, all capturing word for this powerful section of my book. Something to describe this process I feel so passionate about and as I scoured through theseurs.com, and racked my fiance’s brain, I started to cry. 

The feeling hit me so fast. What if I couldn’t come up with this word, was my book even worth writing if I couldn’t describe this? What does this say about me as a writer if I, the writer, couldn’t find the word for this? Did I waste the last 3 years of my life writing something that I can’t even describe? Were my words even original, did they matter? Was my book even worth it? The spiral was big, dark and as they almost always are all consuming. In that moment I decided to just stop. I looked out the window, and shook my head. Stop it I told myself. You know why you’re doing this, you’re doing this because you have to. Stop succumbing to self-doubt spirals I said to myself, you know your words, your story, your meditations are impactful. What’s more is that you have to do this because your body wants to get this out, however that happens, and whatever that means, your body wants this out and into the world so just stop it.

And truly just like that, I locked eyes with my fiance, took a few deep breaths, and started scrolling through the thesaurus again. 

Consider this option today :: You are enough. When in doubt, you are enough. When confused, consider your thoughts as they stand, your direction, your clarity in this moment, is enough. When shameful, consider you, just exactly as you are, enough. You are enough. Your words matter, so stop, breathe, cut off the dark thoughts and love yourself into believing, feeling that you dear friends, are enough. 

It always comes back to loving YOU more

If you are not getting something you desire, if you are feeling stuck in an area of your life, the way through this block comes back to either that experience, thing was not meant to be yours; or; you need to love yourself more. Love the parts of you that might have been left behind somewhere along the way, love yourself enough that you innately believe in your worth, and be willing to see this let-down differently as a result.

I have been disappointed time and time again in my life. Whether it was a disappointment due to expectations that I had, or it was a disappointment because I allowed this experience to mean that I was no longer worthy of what I didn’t receive, I can draw a through line for almost every disappointment back to one of these two moments.

Let’s dive into an example, there was an opportunity on the table for me to work with this extremely exclusive company. It would have meant I was the weekly teacher for world-class executives, CEO’s, celebrities and more. I developed a pitch, I had the meetings, it went great, it was happening. Suddenly out of nowhere they didn’t get back to me. They stopped responding and I soon discovered that a good friend, colleague and fellow teacher of mine had instead been given the position. I was crushed. Months went by and I could not let my disappointment go. I couldn’t seem to drop my expectations that I had held. I made this disappointment about my worth as a teacher.

A year later, and yes it took me a whole year, I finally had light shine and I saw it clear as ever. This experience not only was never mine, never meant for me, I had also developed an entire story in my head around the place in my heart that had been most hurt by this. This wound inside me left me with lack of self-love, and I was meant to love myself deeper as a result of this disappointment instead of tear myself up over it. It was only when I saw that this experience was never meant for me to begin with, accepted that and let this truth soften my heart, that I could start filling in the story of worthiness I had created with my own love and belonging. I immediately felt a shift in my heart. In breathwork I could see the hole left by expectations lost and started filling it up with my own love. I  could release my story of not being worthy of teaching, guiding these upper class individuals, and I let love win within me. My whole body softened, and my heart felt thrilled for the space this disappointment had created in my life for other opportunities that are meant for me.

When you are creating a story about your disappointments, your failures, love yourself. When you are berating yourself for a seemingly setback, ask yourself if this was ever truly meant to be yours, and then love yourself. When you are doubting your worth, questioning your belonging, love yourself in the place inside you that needs it most. Lay down for breathwork, ask for guidance to call in more love. Watch that love fill you, soften you and ultimately open you to a whole lot more! I find almost everything comes back to self-love. It’s layer after layer of learning to love yourself deeper. Where in your life today can you choose to see a disappointment as an opportunity to love yourself more fully?

Instagram:: @WillowFlowersbyDesign

Riding the Fear of Change with Equanimity

We don’t want to be Left Behind.

Being left behind seems to be a feeling that we all experience no matter the phase of life we’re in. Clients of mine feel left behind because they’re in their 30’s and don’t have their soul partner. Clients who are in their 60’s feel left behind because they only recently found healing and began healing from childhood experiences. Clients who have entered retirement stage feel left behind because the work force continues on without them, or because their saying goodbye to their parents. Friends who are accelerating in their careers feel left behind because they don’t yet have babies. Clients and friends who have gotten married, and are now going through a divorce feel left behind because they’re not happily married with kids already. I too have felt beholden to the feelings of being left behind.

There are phases, waves of life that we go through. We make new friends, we get settled in the ways in which this person, or group have impacted us, and then someone makes a big life choice and moves on. It’s not always about hurt, breakup or hostility, it’s the simple evolution of change. Old friends leave our life for unexpected, and unknown reasons. They move, they travel, they meet someone else and something else becomes their priority, and life paths continue moving in these vastly different directions. It doesn’t mean you love one another any less, and it doesn’t mean that the paths won’t cross again, it just means for this moment in time you are not at an intersection together. Sometimes the breakups, the change is hostile and the devastation hurts far more than we would ever have expected. People get married, live in new states, build families, make new friends, buy houses, get divorced, break-up, meet someone new.

The only thing that is ever constant is change.

Change and evolution are the constant we can depend on.

The Buddhist lineage lives by a belief system that life is suffering. This is one of the Four Noble Truths. My interpretation of this belief is rooted in the idea that pain and suffering are bound to happen and it is our choice how we work with this. When we can embrace this change as truth, we’re naturally more inclined and able to ride the waves of pain and suffering with equanimity. This way of life is less about trying to remain calm and unaffected, and more about opening to our own understanding of pain, of our healing journey. It’s also about opening to not understanding our journey’s and allowing self to ride it through with equanimity. For those of us who are sensitive beings, this feels like the North Star.

Etsy Artist Red Fish Creative

To ride through the waves of change with equanimity feels like a constant effort for me. I’ve been knocked off my feet, double over by darkness and pain, and troubled by the unknown like every human being on this planet, more times than I can count. And I will never stop trying to ride my emotions through with equanimity, never let the fears and feelings of being left behind overtake me. They don't own me. They’re simply messages, information for me to go deeper. An opportunity  for me to wake up each and everyday and face them with fortune and belief that my blooming and growth is inevitable.

When we ride the waves of change, the pain, the suffering, the feelings of being left behind with equanimity not only are we experiencing the depths of emotion, but we’re allowing these emotions to give us information about what’s next. And all while resisting the temptation to become overcome with comparison syndrome. And what if instead of living in social media life, we instead honored and claimed the moments we’re feeling stuck in comparison, and allowed ourselves to move through with presence, trust and an inner knowing that we’re on exactly the path we’re meant to be on. We can’t know where it all is going to lead, but trusting in the process allows the left behind feelings to be held with love without overtaking us. It allows change to naturally occur as it is intended without turning our worlds upside down.

The reality is some experiences, some emotions are going to overtake us. Some traumas are so big there is nothing that we can do but feel them, be in them and allow the rocking to occur. The desired way of being happens once that rocking has begun to slow. Once you can see through the fog a bit, that is when we become conscious enough to see our choice of riding with equanimity. That is when we have the choice of presence, of letting ourselves be changed by evolution. Evolving with equanimity is finding your way through the change for yourself, for your loved ones, for your world, time and time again.

Instagram :: Artist Minna So

From the outside looking in...

I’m taking an online class for my business, as I look to create better systems, structure and experiences so I can best serve each and every one of you. In this program we were given an assignment to email twenty people that we love and trust, and ask them what they perceived, from the outside looking in, was our superpower. TWENTY people!? That was my reaction, it simply felt like too much. I couldn’t ask that many people to spend time in their day complimenting me. The discomfort I felt was likely expected and part of the reason this assignment was there to begin with. So I went ahead and pressed send on this email. Over the next few days these emails came through from people I know deeply well, people I trust with my everything, people expressing these thoughts, these notions they have from the outside looking in at me. Every time an email came through, I felt my heart might explode. One by one, love was passed through the internet to me. Each person spent their precious time writing up their understandings about me, who I am as person, and had the willingness and bravery to send it my way. With each expression, I would smile, hold my heart, sometimes even letting a tear fall. Love, upon love, upon love. I suddenly felt stronger, I felt more capable of creating these experiences I want to create. I felt more held than I think I have ever felt before. Everyone deserves this overwhelming abundance of love I said to my partner. Every single person.

As the emails slowed down, I realized why this felt so good. It has nothing to do with attention, but rather the complete feeling of being seen. For a long time now I’ve been filling myself up with my own love. I’ve held my wounds, my triggers in high regard, created space for them to be felt, to heal, and I’ve loved myself through each and every step. I have loved and honored myself through it. I believe that is why my heart was able to be so filled by this exercise, because it was already full on my love, so this love in my life externally simply complimented everything I was already feeling.

Give yourself the gift of being seen. Being heard. And as you’re bravely standing in your YOU-ness, fill yourself up with your own love so much that no outside reaction actually matters. Instead, you are seen, you are heard because you support you standing up there. That’s when others begin to truly see you. And if you’re standing there watching someone else do the same, maybe, just maybe, you can express the beauty that you see and feel from the outside looking in for them. Let your wounds flow out of you from love, with love so another can experience the fullness of being seen, being loved.

Express yourself. Express your love. Express the unspoken.

Pinterest ::

Finding Love for the Body You Have.

Our bodies are a vessel for how we live this life. Our bodies are a sacred space simply by existing inn the seat it’s sitting in, and with the shape the air takes around you. Our bodies are the ultimate sacred space. How many of you are treating it as such? How many of you practice gratitude in the form of spirituality, practice, sweat or nourishment for your body? And how much of your daily life is built on a foundation of this deep gratitude for the ultimate sacred space?  

Pinterest Artist here

Our hands help us communicate, exaggerate, nourish, feed us. Our legs hold us up, bring us from place to place with ease, support us as we sweat and ground into this earth. And then there are our insides, all that is happening inside of us that we cannot see. All that is happening simply to support us in living our best, high functioning life. Every limb, every organ has it’s function. 

We live our life focused on goals, dreams, what we want to create. We live day in and day out with our wounds, our heartaches, our worries. And yet how much of your day do you spend feeling gratitude for your body? (And if you’re someone who does, I would love to hear from you about your rituals, experiences, tools in working with this.) I know for me, it absolutely has not been enough.

Recently I heard one of those stories where a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend had been in an accident. This distant soul whom I’ve never met went to work one day worried about the normal worries of life, busyness, bills, schoolwork. He had his health his fully functioning body, expecting to leave that night and return to his children, run around the baseball field that weekend, and enjoy life with his family. The accident took this away from him, he was badly injured, luckily still alive, yet life will return to a new kind of normal after this accident. I’ve had a client who truly could not see the beautiful body that she owned. She knew there was an opportunity for more love, yet it was a daily struggle for her to love what she did have while at the same time feeling sick and tired of these self-sabotaging feelings taking up brain space in her mind, in her body. Body-shaming for her was easier than gratitude and love. Hating her ultimate sacred space was habit, second nature making the depth of gratitude truly f foreign. Back in December I injured myself and have spent the last 3 months in Physical Therapy rehabbing a simple limb that has wrecked havoc on how I walk, get places, work out and more.

Self-love has many layers.

You learn how to love something about yourself one day, and one layer feels healed, and then a new one shows up thereafter. You learn to love yourself in a new role, in a new position, and then a new opportunity to check into your feelings of worthiness pops up. The layers of loving ourselves are endless, and as we live each day we have a new opportunity to feed, open to  and spread that love. A huge part of our life is built around having the functioning of our bodies, of our health. And no matter where you fall on the spectrum of this, no matter your health situation, or journey with your body, I’m sure there is an o opportunity to call in a little more love and gratitude for the ultimate sacred space that carries you throughout this life, your body. 

It feels almost imperative at this point to find ways to celebrate our bodies, our ultimate sacred space. If you’d like a little support today here are some ways you can start a  practice of daily body-loving, or bring this in however feels right to you. 

• First and foremost make a decision to stop talking badly about you and your body. For this to work, make the mindset shift that  you  are done letting body-shaming, or negative body thoughts take up space in your brain. And overtime you notice your mind falling there you instead switch your language replacing it with something you l love or are grateful for. For example, you’re getting dressed in the mirror and you see an extra role or muffin-top, the thought pops in quickly, and you kindly, gently, let the thought go, and replace it with something you are grateful for about your body.

• Throughout your day, close your eyes, how does your body feel in this moment? What does it feel like to live in your body? Are there aches and pains that have frustrated you, or brought you a new kind of experience living in this body? And are there ways you can appreciate these pains, these scars for what they have opened for you? If not, simply identify them, say hello to them, and then return to calling in something  you are grateful for about your body.

• Note on Gratitudes ::  They can be as simple as :: I am grateful to have a body. I am grateful to have the ability to walk myself from my car to my job, or grateful to be able to walk hand in hand with my child. Gratitudes do not have to be complex, but they can be something you believe in.

• Take one hand and run it down each arm slowly, feeling the pressure, the touch of you on you. Do the same thing for each leg. As you roll across each body part say thank you to them for their function, for what they do. Let the Thank you be said out loud, exclaimed, felt.  Embody the feeling the gratitude. 

No matter what our bodies look like today, no matter what they feel like, no matter what injuries, or body parts you do or don’t have, we must find a way to embody the depth of gratitude and love for the body that we do have. And there is always an opportunity to call in more, deeper love. Your invitation here is to look yourself in the mirror this week and love the human staring back at you just a little more deeply than you did yesterday.

Today’s release coming through poetry.

::

Be still.

Be still my shaken breath.

Be still my stolen glances.

Be still my weary heart.

Be still my tear-soaked eyes for you can rest knowing that your emotions are your superpower.

::

We spend so much time treading water.

So much time dodging, jumping over waves, looking around us to see what needs to be avoided.

We spend so much time pretending not to see the beauty on the ocean floor that we forget just how much we have always loved the feeling of water blowing through our hair.

We forget how much we’ve loved the cleansing water rings left behind by our bodies.

We spend so much time in our fear, we forget that we’ve actually always loved to swim.

::

What good is a half-lite life?

If all the world comes down to is sitting in a bed as you breathe your last breath while everyone you have ever lived life with has left you behind and everyone that is left that you love is someone you’ve created, what good is a half-lite life?

No. I will find the miracle in the mundane. I will find the torch, create the torch if I must and walk the path through a full-lite life. I will lay in that bed one day with my heart bleeding love, saying goodbye to my human vessel, looking back with a smile radiating within because my life was lite many times over.

::

By me.

Pinterst here.

Embracing Inner Light AND Dark for Whole-Hearted Living

You are light, and you are dark. You have light in you, and you also have dark in you. Both are equally as important to learn from. Both are equally as important to get to know, to work with, and to use as guidance forward.

Art by Etsy Artist here.

You are innately made up of light, this true, magnifying light that lives inside of you, and all around you. A light that we can call forward, ask for support from. A light we can ask to be purified with, a light that can guide us, that can drive us. And you are also innately made up of dark, of your shadow. The parts of you that feel shame, the parts of you that feel fear, disappointment, disbelief. Your shadow are the parts we typically wish to hide. The parts we feel a semblance of embarrassment from not because they’re embarrassing as much as because we’re afraid, or unsure of what embracing our shadow, our darkness might look like.

What if today, in this moment, you decided to wholeheartedly embrace all versions of you? What if today you decided to ditch the labels, ditch the understanding you have previous had and open to new possibilities? What if you decided to simply be with all that you are, as you are? No semblance of understanding from a single other person needed because the only understanding required for your wholehearted living is your own. If you were fully to embrace all versions of you today, in this moment, what would that look like? Is there a big hug, a deep breath, a deep thank you you’re in need of giving you? Maybe wholehearted self-acceptance comes from so deep within we can relate the feeling to true inner peace. Maybe giving yourself that inner peace is enough to spark the trigger of support you need from you.

Choosing to believe in ourselves is as simple and as complicated as that. We must make the choice to believe in ourselves if we’re going to manifest all that we desire. We must choose to believe in ourselves if we’re going to call in sacred love, sacred family, sacred work. We must choose to believe in ourselves over any label, over any outside perspective, opinion, or circumstance. We must choose to believe in the Universe, in something greater, bigger than us that is lighting the path for us. We must choose to believe in our light and in our dark so we can use them both to guide us forward. We must choose this belief and allow this belief to create the plan beyond that.

Some thoughts….

Write down all that you desire for this year as though it is already happening. Make your vision board, be specific about what you’re calling in. Listen to meditations to calm the chatter telling you you can’t, it’s not possible, I’m afraid, but what if, what if, what if. Work out and picture that desire so clearly in your head it’s hard to tell that it’s even a vision vs. reality. Write down your dream team of doctors, support systems that if money weren’t an issue you would want to spend on to support you. A therapist. A business Coach. A healer. A writing Coach. An acupuncturist. Physical Therapy. Personal Trainer. A Breathwork Coach. The list could be endless. Take a look at that list time and time again, is there one of those individuals that you see could really support your steps forward in believing in the life you want to be creating?

Creating the life we desire, the life we dream of begins with believing in oneself. To believe in oneself, we must acknowledge, accept and embrace all versions of who we are. Our light and our dark. They are a part of us, and we can use them both to guide us forward, to manifest all that we desire in life. Embrace your light. Embrace your dark and allow wholehearted living to be more than just a dream or a vision, let it become your reality.

On a separate but related note…

The idea of embracing our light and our darkness came from a breathwork vision I had. In this vision I had the sudden inner realization that there is no difference between the two. The light within me merged with my own darkness and created a new color, a color I could not quite see but felt. It was peaceful. The light/dark swirl was all consuming. It flowed through my veins like blood, like water feeding me, nourishing me from the inside out. There was a peaceful explosion above my head that allowed the energy to shoot through my body, out my feet rooting me into the earth. The light/dark swirl told me that embracing the darkness was about allowing the darkness that I don’t understand to be there, allowing myself to not understand it and allowing myself to be immersed by it all. We are all light and we are all dark, and there is no difference between them.