The message that gets me through right now...

The weather has started to get cold at night in LA,  our winds have been flowing strong and the city is on high-alert, firefighters are hard at work, tons of people are healing from the fires or still in the midst of it, and energy feels heightened all around. It felt like too much to hold the other day so I closed myself off in my office, turned all the devices on do not disturb, (my favorite iphone trick by the way) and I laid down for breathwork. 

It was all too much for me frankly. I did not know how to hold space for it all, while also trying to dive into healing work for my clients. And so I didn’t. Breathwork did not make me “feel better”, it did not heal the fires, or stop the tears from flowing, but I did receive a message during my practice. “I am light.” I heard loud and clear. Light is all around me, light is in me. And same goes for the man who lost his life the other day, he is light, he is made of light, those affected by the fires are light, they are made of light. I am light, and so are you. 

The message brought me back to the simplicity of being with what is. It reminded me that no matter what we are going through, we are united in our stories and it is through this union that we get through the weightiness of it all. It is through the owning, the complete knowing that we are all light, that we can make it through the times that feel too much to bear, or the times we feel unsafe to be who we are. This message will carry me through as I continue sending prayers, and resources to those affected by the fires, and to those going through turmoil right now.

And, if today you don’t feel like you are light, if today you don’t feel like you have space in your day to process, to deal with the emotions, the weight that grips you, okay. Be with what is. It’s okay to not feel good, it’s okay to not know. Be with what does not feel good. Be with what is challenging. Be with anger, frustration. Today just be with what is. There will come a day when you will feel yourself becoming, embodying, being light again. And there is someone out there in your community that can hold the belief that you are light, they will hold that for you until you can believe it again. We are not meant to hold all the pieces alone. We are not meant to be looking out for only our loved ones, we are meant to be holding hands, standing up in the intensity, to the intensity together. Lean on another to support you. Let them believe in your light until you can hold the  belief again for yourself. I’m sure they will need you to hold their light belief someday too. 

Stay safe out there, and may you always know, you are made of light.